Caring Casualties - The Undecorated Spouse

There’s a largely unreported and unrecognized casualty group associated with the war on terror: The military family.

These are the caring casualties. They are just as wounded as the service members themselves. They face the same struggles as those who serve, but receive less recognition or acknowledgement of their plight. They’re fighting to have their wounded warriors healed while dealing with threats to their homes and a struggling economy, and they’re trying to take care of their families – many with little to no support. It’s completely understandable that they are passionately fatigued. Life is put on hold as surely as if they also were wounded. Now imagine if the wounded didn’t know they were hurt but had all the symptoms.

A recent RAND Study said there may be 300,000 returning service members who suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and possibly 320,000 more suffering from Traumatic Brain Injury. Of those, half are undiagnosed, and of those diagnosed only half receive treatment.

Without a doubt the service member needs to get to treatment. There’s an argument that the caring casualties should receive treatment, too. With some compassion and understanding we can make changes in the lives of our returning veterans and their families, showing our unconditional dedication and willingness to take care of them.

Treatment can’t wait. These warriors aren’t getting the help they need because in many cases, they don’t know they need assistance, or worse, they are in denial, unable or unwilling to ask for help. This places the burden on their families.


Service members go home and try to pick up where they left off, a life that’s been in stasis. Relationships and work performance become difficult, made even more so when the causes are viewed as whining or feigning an injury to avoid work or duty or passion and compassion. It wasn’t anything the family did or didn’t do. It’s because the service member was exposed to events and circumstances outside understandable comprehension, because they have seen images that may never fade.

There are hundreds if not thousands of books written that attempt to bring home the savage nature of war, but at the personal level, each individual is unique and each family faces a particular set of challenges that can’t be specifically treated. Each of these individuals has to be treated. The RAND study said that the cost to America of non-treatment of those affected is measured in the billions of dollars. And this is only a measure of dollars, not of the toll on marriages and children, not of the tragedy of alcohol abuse or even suicide.

We have to take dramatic steps, including creating a national dialogue among health care providers, the government and the service members and their families to address Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The stigma of this wound must be removed. America has a rich history of finding innovative solutions to complex problems, and this is one of those times.

Roger Stradley
Founder, USA Cares